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Showing posts with label mrs mCcarthy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mrs mCcarthy. Show all posts

Sunday, 8 December 2019

Writing

Dawn and prince where drinking at the iv tim walks in with the drugs dawn decides to go on a road trip. Dawn decides to go on a road trip. Dawn dawn pulls over and crashes into the car in front of them tim gos flying out the window and lands in the tree.Then they here zaras and kimmy talking.


Tim fulls out of the tree and lands on zara. Dawn and prince here's someone screaming dawn grabs the gun and they run over the tim. Dawn says go back to your own country you fagget dawn pulls the gun up to zaras head and pulls the trigger.

Sunday, 10 March 2019

Camp Writing - E-Portfolio

Motivation:
Camp Experiences


Learning Objectives:
Level 3
  • Show a developing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.
  • Select, form, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
  • Use language features appropriately, showing a developing understanding of their effects.
  • Organise texts, using a range of appropriate structures.


Level 4
  • Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.
  • Select, develop, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
  • Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.
  • Organise texts. Using a range of appropriate structures.


Learning goals:
  • To hook the reader in with an interesting beginning
  • A variety of sentence starters
  • A variety of sentence lengths
  • Edit and rework
  • Effective peer checking and feedback


dear dad
camp is going great today we did raft building Me Madison and Brooke made                                                                        rafts out of tyres wood and group.  we had hardly any stuff to use because we were to slow. our first one didn't wreck out so we had to start again.                                                                         


 the boys copped use but our group won any way. we paddled across the water hole.we got to swim after we put the rafts on the Bank.we jumped in to the freezing cold water.



I think I did well at doing my goals because I did paragraphs.  I need to better at checking my spelling, punctuation and grammar.
Teacher Comment:
Tegan, you have done a great job retelling your camp experience. You have attempted to set out your writing using paragraphs and have included a variety of sentence types in your writing. Your next step is to edit your writing by adding more detail, checking your spelling and punctuation.